Tuesday, March 27, 2012

This Restless Life Full of Twisted Feelings

This morning, I gave notice to the staff at Manzanita Park (Prunedale, California) that John and I will leave our live-on volunteer position on April 30th. That gives us a month to prepare for our Canadian journey.

I also wrote to John's eighty-five-year-old dad in Penticton, British Columbia to say that John and I will be arriving in The Jazz for a week-long visit in May.

Next I wrote to John's sister-in-law to say we will be arriving at her home in early June with The Jazz to set up our temporary Canadian home base. (She had already given us permission to stay there.)

Our next adventure is now in motion. Arriving at today's actions were not simple or straight-forward for either John or me. He's become quite attached to spending time at Moss Landing Harbor working on Blue Ribbon. I've been dealing with one internal resistance after another about going to Canada. What will I do when anti-American slams are launched in my direction? Will I be able to see my family and friends in the U.S. often enough? Have we tried long and hard enough to manifest our dream of having a home and meaningful work on the Central California Coast? Will I be able to handle all the cloudy and rainy weather without falling into a deep depressive abyss? These concerns along with about a dozen more take turns rumbling through my mind.

Two significant signs have helped me move along emotionally. First, as I sat in the car waiting for John the other day, I listened to Pandora radio. I like the Pandora feature of being able to read about the artists as we listen to them sing. I've not spent time on Pandora before and waiting in the car seemed like a perfect time to try it all out on my Kindle Fire.

I love Colbie Caillat. So I brought up some of her songs and began reading about her. She's Canadian! I had no idea. Another artist that I am quite excited by is Michael Buble. Again, another Canadian! I was so surprised. Then K.D. Lang came on and I do love her music. I said to myself, 'K.D. Lang is Canadian too!' Immediately I asked myself what the heck I'm worried about when I can go live in a country that produced three of my all-time favorite singers!

The second sign was that my sister-in-law back in North Carolina shared with me this morning that my nephew who has recently finished basic training in the Air Force will be stationed in Alaska at Eielson AFB for two years. I was so excited. If I'm in British Columbia, I'll be Marcus' closest relative! And I have always wanted to explore Alaska! All of a sudden, I felt totally ready to go.

So I didn't delay in writing those notes to everyone to let them know of our plans. It's now official. We're going to explore making a life in British Columbia.

Now maybe I'll get to wear all the scarves I've been knitting lately!